I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
