you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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