Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
