Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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