I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
