I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
