His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
