Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
