btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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