I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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