You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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