You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
