zippers are such a cool invention
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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