my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
