you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
