wat bout pragnant strippers??
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
