why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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