we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
