Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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