I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize