you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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