dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
