So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
