Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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