yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
