I seem to have left my pride at pride
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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