So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Shame - the story of my life.
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