i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
