She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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