Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
