Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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