Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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