hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
