he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
