So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
