theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
