Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
