every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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