actually, I'm a sock model
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
