break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
