It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
