my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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