Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
