Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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