Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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