I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Mom said you looked used
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
