Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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