Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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