And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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