This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I cannot find my penis.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
