ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
