Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize