Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
