turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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