Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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