One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
