I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
