I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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