lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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