Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
