Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
