i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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