small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
