The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My dick has a subreddit
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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