i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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