U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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