she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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