why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
me + whiskey = a bad person
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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