Pants 0. Shit 1.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
