when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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